"the mauve faeries are boys, the white ones are girls, and there are some colours who don't know what they are."

-- from Peter Pan.

I had this conversation today:

"I'm Kereth. I'm a boy, by the way, which isn't always immediately apparent."
"Wha--? Nuh-uh."
"Um, yes. I'm transgendered."
"No, not really...?"
"Yes."
"You're kidding."
"No."
(five more minutes of this)
"Oh. ... So what's that like?"

I was somewhat surprised to find I didn't have a ready answer. How do you encapsulate something as complicated as a gender identity, especially MY gender identity, into a soundbite for someone not willing to entertain, at first, the notion that transgender is anything more than a joke? She was at least very nice once we got past that, but I suppose it was my first attempt at actually explaining myself to someone willing to challenge me. It was nerve-wracking. My palms were sweaty, my stomach was in knots, and I felt humiliated. And this is something I'm going to have to get used to doing, unless I'd prefer to be driven insane by people's ignorance. The spirit is willing, o Gods, but the adrenals are shot to hell.
But afterwards, I felt better, in some indescribable way. I'd like to be able to explain things just once to everyone, but it's not going to happen. I don't mind answering questions, but starting from scratch with strangers is really hard. It's good to remember I'm not the first person to go through this, though. Nor is it as hard for me, as most people at New College have some general idea that transgendered people exist.