Something I recently wrote in a newsgroup post:

... it occurs to me that when I say gender categories are socially constructed, some people seem to be hearing me say that all of our personality traits are socially programmed. This may or may not be true, but it doesn't follow from the argument I made. It is just possible that we have a predisposition towards certain personality traits, either because of genetics or randomness (quanta?) or an inner spirit or whathaveyou, and that these personality traits are categorized by society in terms of maleness or femaleness. When we begin to see this, which occurs long before we can begin to articulate it or even recognize it consciously, we have several options-- stifle those personality traits which do not fit in the categories we are told are right for us, debate the accuracy of the boundaries of the category but not its rightness in being applied to us, decide we belong in a different category, defy categories altogether, and any and every combination and alternative reaction you can imagine. I submit that this happens even before articulate speech, because we learn to form categories almost as soon as we can see. Androgynes, transsexuals, and other kinds of gender-variant people (even that term assumes a "gender norm" which I simply don't think is essential) can produce themselves in any number of ways. I tried to stifle the non-female qualities in me, tried to be an unconventional female, and now find that transcending the categories *through* crossing over them seems to make me happiest. Could I conceivably do one of the other strategies instead? Probably, but I've tried that, and I don't want to. That's that; give me the agency to make that decision or I will take it for myself. We aren't without social programming, we've just responded differently to it than the binarists.

[the person I was responding to argued that if gender was socially constructed, then why do not binarily gendered people who seem to be logical and wise reject binary gender also?]

It's important to recognize that cisgendered people are "logical and wise", for the most part (or at least not necessarily otherwise). Their predispositions are unique, and the way they react to social programming is different than the way we react. The categories are comfortable for them and give them a sense of belonging. Because something is socially constructed doesn't make it wrong or evil; only when it denies individual freedoms and creates injustice is it wrong. It's not race that is the enemy, it's racism; it's not religion that's the enemy, it's religious intolerance; it's not gender that's the enemy, it's gender bias and enforced binarism. Seeing people who don't fit these categories which most people find a source of comfort and protection scares a lot of people silly at this point in history and in this society; that is changing and will change more, we just have to keep working on it.

There is immense social pressure to fit one of the two given categories, if not completely, then as well as possible. We have all felt it, and as most people develop, it is vastly easier to fit the category as best you can. Even if gender stereotypes are not that much imposed on a growing child, as my relatively enlightened parents let me do pretty much whatever as far as gender is concerned, there is the pressure that we are not given the tools to think about people who are not one or the other, or who are some combination of both recognized genders. It is hard to think in those terms, perhaps even harder to think about it when the categories are not overt or enforced. One learns early that there are only two kinds of humans, and I think it takes a special kind of person (or perhaps determination or critical thinking) to question this at an extremely early age. I wasn't that person; I didn't develop that sophistication until I had a few years of liberal college (at a place where "postmodern" means "with it") behind me. For those of you who were, I'd love to hear what you think triggered that, if anything, or what differences you think you have innately or developed which helped you see that.

This is what I believe at 9:07 pm EST on Wednesday June 23rd, having just read Raven Kaldera's quite good book "Hermaphrodeities" and eaten an ostrich burger for dinner (yum). Subject to change without notice.